Today.... 2 things happened.....
1. The boys played together....and it didn't end in tears....
there was polite conversation... and giggles.....
and I realized...
My two baby boys.... brothers.... are going to have a special friendship....
They are going to share things that I can't comprehend..... and it gave me comfort to know that they are going to have each other throughout their lives to lean on.... I will surely pray for that relationship for them
which lead me to my second realization...
2. I found this paci today..... and cried for hours..... I realized we are past this stage..... this is truly the last one in our house.... I remembered all the frantic nights rummaging through diaper bags and dishwasher baskets trying to find one.... I remember holding it in one twins mouth while nursing another..... I remember the way Cooper would hang it out the side of his mouth and bite on it like a chew toy.....
but in this realization there are so many more....
not just the passing of time.... of things that were once....
but of the present.... the now..... the train track cities on the floor....the forts for reading and snacking.... the coloring pages and painting.... the swimming.... the dance parties Daddy starts....
I realized that I need to be present.... soaking it all in.... it is ok to look back.... but not hold on.....
although I think it is ok if I hold on to this paci..... I'll hide it away..... and when I find it again.... I won't cry for hours.... but remember how small they were and smile with joy at what they are doing now.... in that new moment.
God, I pray that you continue to walk with our family on our journey and to smile at all the blessings.... turning our eyes toward the beauty of the day.....
Amen
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